Friday, May 8, 2009

RE: Washing Nose

In preparation for our return trip back to Mexico (yes, we are STILL in the US, and yes, that adds up to nearly a month-long hiatus from school, minus the four days between spring break and swine break), we have received well-wishes, advice, and no more than 20 masks from caring family and friends. Note the following "particulate mask" given to me by my loving father. Not the recommended N95 but the all-powerful P95, outfitted with a charcoal filter and scary enough to ward off all types of matter, living and non-living. Guaranteed to create panic outside a laboratory setting! 

And, in another effort to secure his daughter's health, I received this email today. I was going to preface the following with some background information, but I'll just let you have a good laugh first.

Subject: Washing Nose

I believe washing nose is as important as washing hands to prevent any kind of flu especially after talking to people who have flu. Breathing can take in lots of small aerosol liquid droplets from the other parties. Keep body hydrated and in healthy condition are an effective way to combat flu. I would try to avoid a long stay in some public places,  especially movie theaters, some restaurants and some Walmart stores for the time being.  --Dad

If you haven't noticed already, the man lives by one rule: SAFETY AND HEALTH FIRST! He also happens to hail from a country where something like this:

 Duh, mom! Two holes require two fingers!
Photo by au_tiger01 (Flickr)

is not considered unsightly or even funny. It's so ordinary that it makes an email about washing your nose just as ordinary. If that wasn't odd enough, let me tell you that I have been thoroughly schooled on the techniques of nose-washing and nose-picking. In elementary school (or maybe it was high school), my parents showed me not just how to properly wash my nose but was shown multiple, impromptu examples of how to pick your nose in public. If you ever need a demonstration on the proper techniques, I can show you or my parents would gladly show you without asking. :) Just kidding, they've become much more westernized in their ways...though I still have a lot of work to do with them before they graduate from Alice's School of Western Social Customs. Rule #1000 Do not write emails concerning "washing nose" unless you want it posted for everyone's pleasure.

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